position.

I have a new position at work. 

It's surprisingly stressful. 

People have asked me what it feels like to be in this new role.

I have honestly answered them that I felt overwhelmed, especially in the beginning. 

I felt like there's no 'easing' in. 

It's like a relay run. Once the baton is in my hand, I have to start running. Fast as I could.

It also feels like I'm running uphill. 

It feels like a steep, steep incline I'm running on.

It's not like I have not run before, but I've never had to do it this hard. 

I organize my thoughts multiple times during the day. 

I find myself looking at the same thing again and again, 

not to work on anything,

but to simply comprehend the task at hand. 

But my gosh, 

the 'high' I got when something went right, 

it was exhilarating. 

And while that won't be a sustainable motivation moving forward, 

it's enough fuel for now to keep going, 

until my running legs are stronger. 

Until I can hold my head up high and say, 

'I can actually do this.'